It has been a surprisingly busy few days but I am very pleased that I am down 6 pounds in week 1 of my cleanse.
While I am pleased, I'm also disappointed. Not in the weight loss but in myself. When I went to the doctor a few months ago for my yearly physical I weighed in at my present weight. How could I have let myself gain 6 lbs in a couple months? I'm angry at myself for the way I have mistreated my body. I guess the flip side of the anger is that it is motivating me to keep going. I have always known that anger is the most motivating emotion for true change. Most people tend to be destructive to themselves or others with anger but channeling your anger for some higher purpose is how change really happens. With that said I am going to channel my anger about gaining/losing 6 lbs to work harder to improve my health.
Last night, I went on a date with my husband. We seldom get out as sometimes the price of babysitting can be more than a night out but we did babysitting exchange with a friend so that we could each get a date night. A typical date night for me and my husband would involve going out to dinner and having several drinks. We decided that in order for me to be successful on my cleanse we needed to redefine our date night activities so we went on a 2 hour sunset cruise that set out from the harbor of our quaint New England town. It was so nice to be out on the ocean, enjoying the sunset, the warm breeze, the sounds of island music on the speakers. While this was not a booze cruise there was a bar on board with a drink list of lots of fruity rum cocktails. I REALLY wanted a drink. This was absolutely the perfect setting for a rum runner but I stayed strong and ordered a seltzer with a tiny splash of cranberry and a wedge of lime.
When we got back to the dock, I was pretty proud of myself that I had stuck to my cleanse. As it was still early we decided to stop at a cafe before heading home. I actually was really hungry. It had been a long day and I'm typically not out past 8pm on any given night. My anxiety about what to order was in overdrive on the walk to the cafe. My thoughts raced with "I can just have one drink...maybe a glass of wine....I'll eat a salad (I hate salad)" As I attempted to rationalize straying from the cleanse, I took a lot of deep breaths. When the waitress arrived with our menus, I looked over my options and decided on a pot of roobios tea and arugula tossed in olive oil and lemon wrapped in smoked salmon - all acceptable edible items on my cleanse. The only thing that was not on the cleanse was eating after 7pm....so shoot me - I was on a date.
If this had been pre-cleanse I would have had at least 2 cocktails on the sunset cruise, at least 2 glasses of wine at the cafe, and definitely dessert.
Today is the start of week 2 and today was an emotionally challenging day. I had several urges to eat my emotions away or stuff them away but didn't. I have a feeling this is going to be a stressful week as weight loss is not the only change I'm contemplating making in my life right now. I've got my meal plan though and ironically the meal plan feels like an anchor holding me steady on the cleanse.
Going out was probably the hardest thing for me to do when I was on my cleanse because there are so few options of unprocessed, non-GMO foods. I'm optimistic that restaurants are soon going to offer more and more addictive and allergenic free options. Keep up the great work!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Nannette. Just this morning I told my son we were heading home for lunch and said he wanted to go somewhere and eat. It was so tempting but luckily he fell asleep on the way home. There are a lot of restaurants in my area that strive to only use local ingredients and a couple that are raw and vegan. You too - keep up the good work!!
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