I have been struggling with an enormous amount of irritable energy the past couple of days. I guess the stresses of the new semester and considering altering my career path are getting to me. I have had no time to cook the past couple of days and last night I had the time but absolutely zero motivation. I was just exhausted. In my line of profession when I a child/teenager appears agitated the fist question you ask is "are they hungry?" because if they are hungry and irritated they have the "hangries!"
I have been having the "hangries" the past couple of days because I have been on the go A LOT. I go from pre-school drop off to work to dr's appt to work to campus to home (that was Wednesday) on Thursday I went to campus to a dr's appt to work to pre-school to the farmer's market to home and luckily out to dinner. I eat a lot in my car and have been transporting lots of snacks, shakes, and water along with me. In the morning I'm so frazzled making sure I have everything I need and everything my son needs for school. My son's needs are different as at his previous daycare they made all his food and kept all his stuff now its up to me to remember every morning.
The dishes have been piling up in the sink. I have not done any laundry all week and my husband drank the last of my almond milk this morning. I really almost threw my blender at the kitchen window. Luckily I had a stash of individual chocolate almond milks for my son which was a lot of sugar but I was desperate. So I'm out of almond milk, out of toilet paper (thank god for the box of tissues I have), I'm out of almond butter. My son's snacks are dwindling however I managed to make dinner tonight...go me.
Its so hard to feel balanced although I don't feel out of control. I have been in that position and if I were then I would have been cleaning up broken glass this morning. I also don't feel like I'm doing it all alone. My husband is super helpful...not always but if I ask its only once. He loves spending time with our son and sometimes its just helpful for my husband to take our son outside to play for a few minutes while I empty the dishwasher even though I freakin hate doing it.
Last night was particularly difficult as we went out to a semi-comfort food kind of restaurant at our son's request. I wasn't cooking and did not have the brain power to make a decision so thank god for his desire for french fries and chicken fingers. I wanted a glass of wine SOOOOOOOOOOOO BADLY! I didn't have one but decided to have a nicer meal than a salad as I truly hate salad. I had sea scallops sauteed with red peppers, corn, and asparagus. It was over white rice but I didn't care. It was satisfying and I didn't have a drink.
To be honest now that I'm posting I feel a bit more relieved. I folded clothes from last weekend's laundry and have a load in the dryer. Those are also clothes waiting from last weekend to be washed. The kitchen is straightened up. I was able to get my son and husband to clean up the toy room. I'm hoping to have a family apple picking day trip tomorrow as I was told that Sunday "was for football." My husband has two fantasy leagues. He is useless on Sundays between now and the first weekend in February.
Now that we are entering the autumn season, I began to crave hot cups of coffee on chilly mornings and smooth glasses of red wine on chilly evenings. It's going to be a long couple of months!
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